Random observations of another internet troll on a Microsoft DevOps hackaton

The dude speaking was wearing a T-shirt. Where’s the suite?

Emphasize they love Open Source and are friends with Red Hat “which is a Linux!”

Using all those free tools like git & jenkins, but of course offering Microsoft’s “free” alternative. Free up to X users. Once you grow, you’ll have to give your money to evil friendly corporation.

They even used git in the console! The presentator also told he loves the command line (lol.jpeg)

Microsoft has it’s own github… I guess they expect Open Source people to fix their shitty code…

Emphasize that there’s no Microsoft logos in the presentation, since they teach people the “devops” ways (they just added them later on the slides, but of course, without mentioning anything this time)

Give Team Services for free, again, to hook you up and get you money later.

JSON all the things! This is actually good…

They called a chef dude, who gave limited amount of sock, stickers and other goodies (poor.jpeg) and gave a speech of about 30 seconds on config management.  Why Microsoft would let him talk for longer? Chef sells their own shit and Microsoft will get no money from the people that Chef recruits as customer.

The presentator was constantly using the words “free” and “Microsoft” in the same sentence. I wonder if their followers sysadmins need stuff repeated hundreds of times like a mantra to be able to remember or if it’s some kind of hypnosis/prayer/indoctrination. Maybe he was just trying to convince himself. They say that if you repeat a lie long enough, you start to believe it.

Azure interface is disgusting, it keeps scrolling horizontally, so to get an info like IP, you need to do 92837492837492837492437928374  clicks. Looks pretty, but it’s damn annoying. I guess they develop interfaces for secretaries and blondies… or sysadmins that don’t do shit, but need to look busy.

Most of people attending the DevOps hackaton were wearing shirts & ties & suits on the first day. lol.jpeg

Most of people came in T-shirt on the next day (just like the Microsoft’s speaker), but somehow, many of them still managed to look formal. How?

Sometimes a beard starts growing from a nose and did not stops on the neck. Also, nose hair is the first one to become all white, while the beard keeps being tomato red. However, with those attributes, who needs a haircut, messy is a style for all body hair, not only nose and neck.

Most of the people had huge, bulky and ugly laptops. I  see no way in Hell they would carry those with them on their regular oncall duty. I guess they regularly leave them on their desk at 5pm from Monday to Friday.

EVERYONE leaves their seats at ONCE on lunch time and NO ONE locks their laptops! I didn’t bother asking about disk encryption and BIOS password… This was a really HARD temptation to resist. But I’m a good girl, I would not misbehave while on a conference my job (<3) sent me at.  

2 of 3 females attending the hackaton wore feminist T-shifts. Something containing the words “yes” “I’m female” and “DevOps” and a phrase rather aggressive designated to tell all those sexist man that females can work in IT too. However, none of the girls wearing the T-Shirts had the courage to speak up, respond to a question that the presentator was making, or even look up. They reminded me of Muslim girls from extremist countries, sitting modestly with their mouths shot.

The third female had gorgeous black curly hair… but probably picked up her clothing in second hand store from the 90’s. It just did not look good. However, who cares,   she was old, had no makeup on and …   females should not be judged only by their looks, specially in IT!

The only hot guys were those from Microsoft. Rest was old trying to look as professional as possible.

It’s quite sad that almost no hands were raising when the Microsoft’s dude was asking “who knows IAC?”, “Who knows Git?”, “Who knows  continuous deploying?” and how many hands raised, when the dude was asking “who never knew of …?”  A colleague of mine made an observation about a spectator. He said he must be super smart, since he has all those stickers on his laptop. He must be loving those technologies. Sadly, that was the person always raising his hand on “who never head of …?”

Microsoft dude repeated several times, that they will be glad to help companies by analyzing their particular setup and making a plan  with all the things the company has to implement to be more efficient on their product development. All that for free of course! The only thing they want in exchange is to make a blog post a la “Microsoft helped another company”. Is it me or they’re just like 16 years  old girs being “like” whores on facebook?

Overall,  it makes sense that Microsoft made Windows 10 free. They finally realised they won’t make money selling their OS to simple mortals, moms that spend most of their time in the kitchen, dads that are most of the time outside of the house or their kids, who only want gaming, porn & troll on the internets.  Or maybe they’ve realized that no one needs Windows Server, IIS and MSSQL to run a php website… 

This hackaton attempted to pretend to teach people about the devops ways, when in fact, it was just propaganda, promoting their products and a desperate attempt to make their cloud more popular (beause “all the things are integrated with Azure”), make MS fans even more loyal and maybe recruit people “from the other side”.

Nice try Microsoft! You almost look like the “cool  kids” now, but we still remember.


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